The End of an Era... kind of.

Tomorrow I'm shooting for Cosmopolitan... could it really be the last photoshoot I'll ever have? I don't know. Four years of modelling and MTV was fun (nay, more than fun-- life changing) but now it kind of feels like I have to get back to my real life.


But I'm excited for the future. It feels like such a fantasy; I can't believe I'm at the point of my life where I can say "Thanks but no thanks" to rocking schools to which I've been accepted like Duke, Georgetown or Cornell. They say half the battle is getting there and I think that's true of anything.

Modelling and Law School alike requires tremendous grunt work. Building your portfolio-- building your resume. Going to castings-- studying for LSATs. You have to work really hard to get your foot in the door to a top agency or a renowned Law School but I think it's worth it. Sure there are some people with natural beauty or talent, but I think for the most of us, we have to really try.

So what I'm trying to say is you have to really want it... whatever that "it" may be. And you have to remember to never take the easy way out because if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it.

And I really do believe that. Barring a (genetic) mental incapacitation, you can really do anything. You make your own luck.

With that being said, I still don't know where I'm going to Law School next year... I'll let that be a mystery for another week or two.

Gui Boratoo - No Turning Back

Thanksgiving Palooza

The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change. - Isaac


It's strange how different everything is when I don't feel any different at all. Looking back I wonder if everyone is equally as mind-blowing idiotic as me (Yeah.. I went there. I read my 3rd grade Diary... I was and still am soooo lame)? Everything changed for the better and I don't know what I did to deserve it but it's right here neatly wrapped in expensive Papyrus brand paper and I wonder how I ever got to be so lucky.

And for the first time life isn't raveled around one singular wonderment that consumes you like work, parents, friends, school or a boyfriend but rather, everything is a delight in a twisted kind of way. So I guess I realized... I mean really realized is that life is what we make it.

Best of all, when I smile, I smile from the heart and it's so bizarre because I've carried around an emptiness for so long and all of a sudden I feel whole and it's nothing and everything I ever wanted.

And yes, there will always be the stresses of life but it pales in comparison to the rainbow coalition of bliss that comes from you.

Love isn't what I imagined it to be at all. It isn't about the magic even though the magic is very real. It's the ability for it to light up all the other aspects of your life. It's the capability to walk around feeling full... complacent, I don't know.

And I guess it's not about how you feel about the person but rather, the way they make you feel about everything else and I understand that now.

50 ways to leave your lover

I know this sounds crazy but I think there's something inherently romantic about leaving someone. It's the soul's recognition of the absence of the one that gets me everytime. I like the notion that there's a screaming part of your heart that refuses to settle for less.

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My agency is flying me out to Miami for a photoshoot tomorrow. It's my first time and I'll be all by myself like last time in Vegas... I'll pack my LSATs to study. Maybe next time, it'll be for fun =)

10/31/08 - Armin Van Buren rocked it.

A Jackass for Halloween.

The idea of modern Halloween is so ludcrious and so far removed from its origins, I can't fathom any other country in the world embracing the concept of grown men dressing up as IPods as a national holiday other than America.

What exactly compels us to dress our infants up as lady bugs only to go door to door begging strangers for free candy?

I don't know but I LOVE IT.

We need to come up with more Holiday concotions like this one and I don't mean the semi-ridiculous easter bunny, santa claus crap. I mean something equally obscene and stupid as Halloween. One day of being a Jackass is not enough.

Another Hurdle

I just wanted to write one last post as a 21 year old.

Great year but it only gets better.

The American Dream

Without any doubt nor ambiguity; we live in the greatest country in the world.

With only dreams and tenacity at hand, the ability to achieve anything is not only a possibility but quintessentially dubbed The American Dream. This is a country where an estranged immigrant with only twenty-four dollars in his pocket and a citizenship obtained through political asylum can just fifteen years later become a multi-millionaire with broken english-- I know that man, I call him dad.

Growing up in America, I've only just begun to realize the magnitude of the American spirit. Strange how we can take for granted even the most basic rights that are refused by billions of people in the world. I can only begin to describe the awed envious looks on the faces of many others in an international airport when I flash that navy-blue passport that so proudly says "The United States of America" because united we are, by the common thread of being alien in a new land, of working hard to achieve greatness and of our undying devotion to our undeniable rights.

We are by no means perfect, but the pursuit of something greater than you and I, that is the pursuit of equality and opportunity drives us to strive for the better. If we want something bad enough, we as Americans will always without fail get it. We're a country founded by people that believed in change, to escape the tyranny of the old world politics, to practice what they believed in their very core to be right.

So Obama is right tonight when he says that we're not a "blue America or a red America" but the United States of America. And forgive me for being idealistic, but together we can build a country that will be worthy of the world's envy.

And when people tell me how this country is falling apart and how this country is trailing wayward, I just smile and nod. Because they don't know yet, they haven't seen America through my eyes. They don't know what it's like to be hungry in a third world country (at the time), they don't know what it's like to never have seen a car, the don't know what it feels like to know that working hard does not equate to proportional success-- I do, I was there and I love the US of A.

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By the way, I'm still on my raw journey. I can't seem to get into your blog but I just wanted to update you!

Selective Amnesia

Post tomorrow.

Make-up Recommendation: Baby oil is a great alternative to eyemakeup remover which can cost upwards of $10. You can buy a small baby oil bottle at any pharmacy for less than $2 and it will last you for more than a month.