Friday, August 10, 2007

Syndrome: Don't Worry

She said, "I don't know if I've ever been really loved"

It's lonely on this gorgeous highway intersection. The pavement gleams a pleasant glow and I miss driving on it on those perfect cool days- if only in my mind.

I miss the "don't worry", the effortless efficiency that relaxes me. The accomodations that sway me back to sleep on those unbearable disfunctional mass transit-less days. Or when the city seems so close and so far, I find myself pleasantly unmoved and on time.

Still, it's a relief to get away from that stifling hold. But now? The days seem longer than ever and I realize that I'm just as far away as before. Maybe even farther because now I lost the quiet disposition of that fucking weary thing called hope. Damn it.

And it hangs there, like stale bread. So it suddenly becomes a game of deception. Or maybe something nicer, a better euphanism: sacrifice.

I give up. You're just a pale imitation of something I've always dreamed of.
So farewell dreams, I'm letting you go. You're not real and I know that now. And me? I'll never be happy without you.

It's okay though, we all do it. Wingin' it Darlin'.